The practice of leaving flowers on gravestones has been present in many cultures for centuries. It is a delicate gesture that expresses complex emotions and reflects the universal human urge to commemorate and honor the departed.
This article explores the history of this tradition and delves into the profound symbolism behind it. Here, you will also find out what different types of blooms mean, learn how to create beautiful and thoughtful bouquets, and get to know what alternatives to conventional flower arrangements exist. Let’s get into it!
The Tradition of Leaving Flowers at Graves
The ritual of leaving flowers at graves derives from ancient civilizations. In Egypt, water lilies were often placed on tombs, symbolizing the hope for an afterlife. In ancient Greece and Rome, people used flowers like roses and violets to honor the departed. Notably, similar traditions exist in numerous cultures across the globe.
For instance, on Pacific islands, such as those in Hawaii and Tahiti, the act of adorning graves with flowers has also held deep spiritual significance for hundreds of years. Brightly colored blooms like hibiscus and plumeria are used there to celebrate the lives of the departed to this day.
Across various Asian cultures, including Japan and China, chrysanthemums are often associated with honoring ancestors, while indigenous tribes in North America prepare wildflower offerings to connect with the spirits.
In Western cultures, the tradition of graveside flowers seems to have emerged during medieval times, intertwining with Christian beliefs. In this historical period, people would mainly choose white flowers, as they were considered a symbol of purity.
This changed in Victorian times, which are known for their elaborate mourning rituals. During this era, floriography, a cryptological way of communication through flowers, became popular. According to its principles, different colors and types of flowers convey distinct meanings.
While the widespread practice of floriography has decreased over time, some people still refer to it when making flower arrangements nowadays. However, in modern times, it is more common to choose flowers based on personal preferences, cultural traditions, and the character of the departed.
Considerations When Choosing Flowers
The process of picking graveside flowers requires careful consideration, as it encompasses way more than mere aesthetics. After all, the blooms you select have the power to convey messages of love, remembrance, and respect, often speaking louder than words.
Here are some key considerations you need to keep in mind to make the right choice of cemetery flowers:
Personal Preferences and Relationships
One of the most heartfelt ways to commemorate the deceased person is by selecting flowers that held a special place in their heart. Besides, taking the color preferences of the deceased into account can make the bouquet even more meaningful.
Such a thoughtfully curated flower arrangement not only pays tribute to the deceased but is also sure to evoke emotions and cherished memories among those who visit the grave.
Cultural and Religious Significance
Different cultures and religions have specific flower traditions associated with mourning. Carefully selecting flowers in line with these customs shows respect for the heritage and beliefs of the departed person.
Also, keep in mind that in some religions, such as Judaism and Islam, it is not considered appropriate to bring flowers to a gravesite. We will talk more about possible alternatives later in this article.
Seasonal Availability
Choosing flowers that are in season locally is a practical consideration that ensures the freshness and affordability of the arrangement. What’s more, seasonal blooms are not only more readily available but also have a beautiful connection with the natural rhythm of a specific location.
Environmental Considerations
Cemetery rules often influence the choice of funeral flowers. For instance, many gravesites favor locally sourced blooms to reduce waste and support native ecosystems.
Moreover, some graveyards restrict non-biodegradable materials, including artificial flowers, due to their lasting environmental effects. Also, while a cemetery vase can be acceptable at some locations, it isn’t at others, so make sure you know all the guidelines in advance.
Popular Flowers for Gravestones and Their Meanings
As we’ve mentioned earlier, different cultures may have distinct symbolic meanings associated with certain flower types. Here are the most common interpretations of popular cemetery flowers in Western countries:
Roses
Roses are one of the most popular flowers used in various contexts, including mourning rituals. Here’s a breakdown of some common rose colors and their meanings:
- Red. These symbolize passionate love, respect, and deep emotions. This is the reason why they are often the first choice for honoring a romantic partner or a close family member.
- White. White roses represent purity, innocence, and remembrance.
- Yellow. Roses of this color are associated with friendship, joy, and positivity. They can be chosen to celebrate the life and happy memories of the deceased.
- Pink. Pink roses usually symbolize gratitude, admiration, and elegance.
- Orange. These roses could signify enthusiasm, energy, and fascination. You can choose them to commemorate the vibrant personality of the deceased and the positive impact they had on others.
- Lavender. Lavender roses represent wonder, enchantment, and mystery.
While blue-colored roses don’t grow naturally, you may still encounter them on gravesites. People typically choose them to convey a sense of longing or the idea that one’s presence is missed deeply.
Lilies
Lilies are another great choice of cemetery flowers due to their elegant looks and symbolism rooted in history. Different types of lilies carry distinct meanings, namely:
- White lilies. A white lily is a symbol of purity, renewal, and rebirth. They are often associated with the Easter holiday and can be used to assert faith in the afterlife.
- Calla lilies. White calla lilies represent the purification of a departed soul while red blooms symbolize courage and determination. Traditionally, these flowers have been used to commemorate people who experienced an untimely death.
- Stargazer lilies. Stargazer lilies symbolize sympathy, compassion, and remembrance. Their vibrant colors and striking appearance make them a fitting choice to honor a loved one.
Note that, while not so commonly found in Western countries, the red spider lily is a traditional symbol of the final goodbye in many Asian cultures.
Carnations
Carnations are flowers with ruffled petals and a sweet fragrance. In many traditions, they symbolize love, affection, and admiration. They come in a variety of colors, with their meanings generally matching those of the different hues of roses described above.
Yet, it is crucial to keep in mind that these blooms hold special significance in military contexts in many countries. They are often used to honor and remember fallen soldiers, veterans, and those who have served in the military.
For example, you are likely to see red carnations and poppies on Memorial Day in the United States.
Sunflowers, Daisies, and Other Seasonal Choices
Sunflowers and daisies are both popular choices for cemeteries due to their bright and cheerful appearance. While the former symbolize adoration and loyalty, the latter represent beauty and purity. These flowers can bring a sense of positivity and light to the gravesite.
Interestingly, flowers associated with a specific time of year can gain deeper meanings in connection with the season when they naturally bloom. For example, tulips generally signify pure love. Yet, in spring, they can serve as a symbol of renewal and the circle of life. Similarly, evergreen arrangements in winter can represent the enduring memory of the person.
Creating a Floral Arrangement: Step by Step
While leaving a simple bouquet on a headstone is a beautiful gesture, you may want to craft a truly personalized flower arrangement. Here is a step-by-step guide on how to create an aesthetically pleasing and thoughtful ensemble:
Plan the Arrangement Design
Before jumping into the process of creating a bouquet of cemetery flowers, take a moment to ponder what you want it to look like. Reflect on the preferences of the deceased person, the cultural values of their family, and the seasonal availability of certain blooms.
This is also the perfect time to decide on whether you will be using fresh or artificial flowers. Besides, it is crucial to keep color harmony and symbolism in mind. What message do you want your bouquet to convey?
Finally, consider the size and shape of the gravestone when planning the arrangement. After all, it should enhance the space without overpowering it.
Think of Additional Elements
Aside from flowers, think about incorporating additional elements that hold significance. Does the bouquet need some additional greenery? Are you planning to make a wreath and have to get a base for it? Or, perhaps, you require a ribbon to tie the arrangement together?
Source and Prepare the Blooms
Once you’ve decided on the right flowers and extra details, you can start creating the arrangement. Some common sources for bouquet elements include local stores, greenhouses, and personal gardens.
Whichever option you choose, remember to select fresh, sturdy flowers that can withstand outdoor conditions. Also, if you are planning to put the flowers in a cemetery vase, don’t forget to prepare them by trimming the stems at a diagonal angle and removing lower leaves to prevent bacterial growth.
Assemble the Bouquet
To create a beautiful flower arrangement, it is advisable to start with a foundation of greenery to provide structure and shape to it. Then, place larger focal flowers in the center or at the highest point of the bouquet. Finally, fill in the gaps with smaller blooms and filler flowers to add texture and volume.
Add Personal Touches
Consider incorporating elements that add sentimental value to the flower arrangement. This could include a small photograph, a cherished trinket, or a card with a heartfelt message.
Alternatives to Flowers
While fresh and artificial flowers have a special charm, they may be a wrong choice in the context of some religious customs or cemetery regulations. Here are some other items with which you can commemorate a deceased person:
- Stones or pebbles. Placing stones on a gravestone signifies enduring memories and stability and is customary in some religions, including Judaism and Buddhism.
- Mementos. Small items that reflect the individual’s passions can offer a glimpse into their life story.
- Candles. Candles represent light amidst darkness and the memory of a person that lives on.
- Letters or notes. Leaving a handwritten note on a gravestone can be a good way of letting out your emotions while commemorating the departed.
- Photos. Photographs provide a visual reminder of the past days and evoke bitter-sweet memories.
- Wind chimes. These beautiful decorative pieces make soothing sounds, adding an ethereal feel to the space.
- Religious or spiritual items. If appropriate, you can place religious symbols near or on the headstone as a sign of divine protection and love.
Placing such items on a gravestone can be especially meaningful on special occasions, such as anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and other significant dates.
Conclusion: The Lasting Impact of a Floral Tribute
Today, people have a wide array of flower choices available year-round to pay tribute to their departed loved ones. What’s more, it is also now possible to order flower delivery directly to the loved one’s grave, which makes paying tribute to the deceased more convenient than ever.
While the means of memorial practices change, the essence of the tradition persists. As we lay down flowers on a gravestone, we find solace, connection, and a sense of continuity amidst the ebb and flow of life’s passing seasons.
FAQ
Do you put real or fake flowers on a grave?
Both real and artificial flowers are acceptable. The choice depends on personal preference, cultural traditions, and cemetery regulations.
What does putting flowers on a grave mean?
It is a common symbolic gesture of remembrance, respect, and honoring the memory of the deceased.
What flowers last the longest at a cemetery?
Artificial flowers will last the longest, as they can withstand even extreme weather conditions, such as heat and rain. Fresh blooms that tend to maintain their beautiful appearance for extended periods include hardy varieties like chrysanthemums and carnations.
What are the best flowers to put on a grave?
There is no definite answer to this question, as the best option is different for every person based on a variety of factors. However, some common choices include roses, lilies, and chrysanthemums due to their symbolism and durability.
What do you call the flowers on top of the grave?
They are commonly referred to as cemetery flowers, memorial flowers, or grave decorations.
Kathleen was a freelance writer for about 20 years. For the past several years, she has served as a volunteer public relations and writer for People Legacy. When she isn't writing, she enjoys spending time with her family, doing genealogy research and traveling.
